Falling Apart

I seriously think I'm losing it... it was bad enough just to have my other knee injured and now this... I don't know if I can handle it. I know I have to, and that ultimately I will somehow, but I can't see an end right now... no solutions, no hope. It's literally making me sick... queezy, headache, pounding heart. Why now? Why not after a week more of waiting, til we could see each other and try to fix things?
"My world is crashing down on me
I'm losing sight of my reality
Don't know what to think anymore
Because I'm standing outside hopelessness's door"

I need him so badly right now, it hurts, and when I really need the support, this is what I get? I don't understand...