Finally, an update!

Yes, yes, I know I haven't done well with keeping everyone updated. Since my last post I have:
- Gone to a Ratpack-style concert
- Gotten lost in Dublin for 2 hours
- Had Thanksgiving
- Done exams
- Gotten my hair cut
- Moved to a different room in the appartment
- Had Christmas and New Year's in Germany

I'm now in Germany, wincing at my terribly rusty German. In the past two weeks here, I've gotten hardly better. Whenever I want to respond in German, my mind goes blank. I think I've regressed far enough back that I need a refresher class in order to repair the damage.

I had a "lovely" trip to Germany, as follows:
I took the 2:25 bus from Cork to Shannon Airport. Thank god for motionsickness medicine! My flight was supposed to leave at 7:15, but was delayed due to fog, and didn't leave until after 8:00. It was about a 2hour flight from Shannon to Germany, however, mid-flight we were informed that we would be landing in Frankfort instead of Dusseldorf, another 250km+ away. So, I got into Frankfort at about 11:30pm, and they told us that there were buses waiting to drive us back to Dusseldorf, and that we'd get there around 4 or 4:30am. Mind you, by this point, I had had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, two oranges and some bread on the bus to Shannon, and another orange on the flight. That's it. So I was starving, not to mention my knees were killing me from having no leg room and no sleep. I got some munchies at a pitstop at around 3am, and we got to Dusseldorf early around 3:45am. Poor Kay-Holger and Angela had been staying up for me, having already driven out to the airport once then gone home to sleep. On their trip back home, Alexander (the youngest boy) started feeling sick, and soon they were all very, very car sick. Within hours, the entire family including the exchange student was sick. Then, Kay-Holger had to drive out to pick me up again, making several stops along the way for his poor stomach, and we didn't get back to Bochum until 6am. I then crashed until 1 then got up and ate a bit with Angela who is feeling better.

My new year's resolution (which I am starting here in Germany) is to get back into dance shape. For now, that means drinking a goal of 1.5L of water. Don't know if I'll make it, but I'll try.

Here's pictures from Thanksgiving:

And one from the concert:
















And our last weekend out on the town before Meg and Amanda left:

More pictures from Christmas/Germany to come!

Pictures II: Killarney Trip

No need to explain these, methinks: Swans, clouds, and crepuscular rays *swoon*

Pictures!

Working on getting all my pictures uploaded, but it's going to take some time. Here's the first set: pictures of my lovely apartment ;)

P.S. Yes, one wall in each room is painted orange, and yes, my bedding is blue.

Killarney Weekend

Well, I'm up at nearly 6am for various reasons, so I figured I might as well post about my weekend trip to Killarney with the interstudy posse.

The trip started out on Friday afternoon. I was planning on taking the 3:30 bus from the Cork station, which is a good 30-40 minute walk away from the apartment. Since I wanted to save my poor feet up for the dreaded 7-mile hike, I decided to take the number 8 bus to the city centre so at least I'd only have to walk one street over from St. Patrick's. However, fate did not want to be kind to me. I waited 40+ freaking minutes for that damn bus, and it never came. I was running out of time to get to the station, and I didn't want to pay for a taxi as 5 other groups of people had, so I started walking as fast as I could. Not 5 minutes down the road, the 8 passed me, not even close to full, picked up 2 passengers 100ft in front of me, then sped off while I lengthened my stride to reach the stop. After some rather strong language for me, I started walking again. Halfway to St. Patrick's another number 8 passed me, and by that point I was beyond pissed off, so I walked right by it, pretending my feet weren't killing me. I made it through the crowds at St. Patrick's and got to the bus station well in time... I'd made the minimum 30 minute walk in 25 minutes, and my feet were killing me, as well as my calves.

So, anyway, after that fiasco, the buses were all full, and finally sometime after 4:00 I made it on a bus with two other girls and we got to Killarney in time for dinner with the group. I actually ate lamb (the only other alternative was salmon, so yeah) and it was surprisingly good. The dessert, however... *drool* it was sticky toffee pudding, and I don't think I've ever had so subtle of a dessert taste so good. Anywho, the hostel was decent. Nothing like the hotel back home, but it was fairly clean. A group of 15 year old girls woke us up around 5am, and the girls in my room had some choice words to yell at them, but managed to restrain themselves. We then had the lovely 7-mile hike. It wasn't so much of a hike as a sometimes steep walk. No matter, my calves tightened up pretty badly by the time we stopped for lunch, as in making me walk funny so that I got heel blisters again. While we ate, I kept my feet up on the bench to get my weight off of them, which only helped nominally. Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I'd taken a double dose of ib profin that morning. After lunch, we took a boat ride through the three major lakes of the region, headed back to town, then went out for dinner. At dinner, the star of the show was the cheesy garlic bread...god, I'm drooling just thinking about how good it was.

But anywho, the walk was gorgeous, and I'll get pictures up asap. My camera batteries died on me during the first day, and apparently the batteries I bought at Tesco's there in Killarney weren't high enough of a voltage or something, because my camera wouldn't turn on. I didn't get any pictures from the friary, gardens, and falls the second day, which makes me really sad because it was so perfect. After dinner the second night, the girls all played drinking games, and one of them got hilariously smashed, and I had fun just watching them. Because my legs and feet were sore from the hike, I decided to stay in while they went out. I stretched for about an hour, and apparently I over did it, as when I woke up Sunday morning, I could barely move. Yeah, then we had to walk around the grounds of the Muckross house, friary, and falls, and by the time I was in view of the falls, I was ready to have someone shoot me in the head. Luckily we took cars back to Killarney.

From there, we ate some lunch and then three other girls and I took a fairly early bus back home. Of course, we had to walk back to the apartments from the bus stop about 10 minutes away, after my legs muscles had all cramped up on the bus ride home. Thus, when I made it up to my apartment, I camped out on the couch for several hours, then took as hot of a shower as I could get. Still, the entire back length of my legs are pure murder, and that is one of the reasons I am still awake. I went to bed around 2am, dozed for a bit, but mind wouldn't shut off and legs ache too freaking much.

And the major reason I can't fall asleep: It's amazing how much life, how much your perspective on life, can change in just a single hour. I'll leave it at that for now, but I have a lot of thinking to do. So, I'll leave this humongous post at that, and hope you guys enjoy the pictures when I get them up.

Evil Chinese People

I just got the most terrible fortune ever:

"No wonder you always go home alone."

Evil, evil Chinese food people! *hiss*
Just because it's true doesn't make it nice =_=

Religion

As of late, my interest in religion has been at a high level. Just about every time I have gone online in the past year, I have read some article or another on some religion or another. Religions have always interested me, and for most of my teenage years (about age 12-17), I searched for a religion to call my own. I found so many beliefs and dogma that struck a chord with me, however, no matter how hard I tried, I could not find it in myself to believe in any one religion over another. This both frustrated me to heck and piqued my interest even more. When the DaVinci Code book came out, it reawakened my search for personal meaning in all of the religious jargon. I read website after website, book after book. I lost myself in the world of the early Christians, Jews, Muslims, Pagans, and so on. I read about mysticism, spiritualism, and agnostism. More recently I have been expressing to people my interest in possibly majoring in religious studies/theology. This has incurred many questions regarding my own beliefs, which I have had to answer as concisely as possible, but this has left me feeling like I haven't fully explained myself, either.

In the past, to put my beliefs in the most simple of terms, I have told people I have no religion.
This later developed into me explaining that I am agnostic. If I were to truly label myself, I suppose I must clarify that I am an agnostic omnist. For those of you too lazy to google those two terms, it means: 1) I believe it is impossible to prove or disprove the existence of a deity/deities; and 2) I find truth and believe in the dogma and beliefs of all religions. That is putting it shortly. In more depth along the lines of agnostism, I not only believe there is no proof for or against the existence of any deity, but also the very nature of an omnipotent, omnipresent being is such that it is impossible for humans to even comprehend its existence. To use a cheap analogy, a single cell (if it had thought and senses) cannot comprehend the characteristics, let alone the intentions, of a living organism. I do believe in a unifying presence of sorts... the chances of the world turning out the way it does are just so infinitely small that the sheer number of coincidences are preposterous. Not fate, per se, and not necessarily a deity or deities of some sort, but just, well, something. I know humans tend to search for something higher than themselves in order to make sense of the world, but logic points towards the fact that there is always something higher than any given thing.

Now, back to how the analogy ties in: if there is some sort of omnipresent being, there is no possible way for humans to define it... it would have to be beyond our comprehension. As of yet, humans can barely conceive of huge numbers of objects, let alone everything. We simply cannot truthfully comprehend infinity, and therefore cannot define what omnipresent is, other than "being everywhere/everything". I think that any attempt of humans to define what that omnipresent being is, what its intentions are, and how it effects the world, falls under three categories: sheer folly, need of the security and order such a being might mean, and entertaining fantasy.

This is where my omnism ties in. Although it is impossible for humans to define "God" and all other incarnations of the omnipresent/omnipotent, we still strive to do so. Sometimes we do so clumsily, other times with a profound sophistication. In all my readings on the various religions and beliefs, I think I have found something redeeming and/or truthful in all of them (yes, even Satanic cults). Religion is a human institution put in place to give some sort of order to the beliefs and morals people hold. Humans define religion, humans interpret it. That does not mean that religion is unhelpful or even harmful; it simply means that we have to keep it in perspective. Throughout the ages, people have always tended towards forgetting the fact that dogma is manmade. I think that as religion is an attempt to describe the workings of the world and to define the supernatural, there is some truth in all of it. All the religions are quite equally different interpretations of one another... they all seek to do the same thing, essentially, just in different ways.

To put all this rant into one short sentence, I believe in the statement "We Are One".... many religions, many interpretations, of one truth. But yeah, so I may burn in hell for all that, but it's the closest I've ever come to feeling at peace with my beliefs.

In Ireland!

Hey all! I'm settled into my apartment here in Cork. Well, at least for the most part, anyway. No internet as of yet, so stuck using campus comps. Contact me if you would like my new address/phone/etc. Unfortunately, I can't call anyone as of yet because it's freakishly expensive, and I have to wait for internet in order to use Skype. Definitely feeling deprived of the net :P
Anywho, just thought I'd let you all know I'm alive and well. More updates and pictures to follow once I have internet. Toodles!

Back from the dead

So yeah, lots has happened since I last posted. I've developed plantar faciitis, been to the podiatrist for it, been on naproxen for it. Been working like crazy, and got some sort of infection that included rashes in my left ear piercings, hives, and extreme fatigue. Went to a ren faire this past weekend which was pretty good, but the aweful 2-hour-late train ride back Sat. night ruined the weekend, as well as repulling the muscles in my neck and shoulder. It's feeling better today, so hopefully I can get some chores and packing done.

I can't believe I only have 20 more days till I will be in Ireland. There's so much to do still. I really hope my feet continue to get better soon, because I would love to take advantage of the free dance classes at UCC, and maybe even teach ballet over there. I've talked to the other girls going to Cork through interstudy, and they seem pretty neat. Most of them are partiers, planning on clubbing all the time and picking up guys and the such.... just not my thing. But who knows, maybe they'll pull me out of my shell a bit.

I'm more than a little disappointed in some of my old friends. It's just sad that we've grown so far apart that no one can seem to make an effort to keep in touch with me anymore, no matter how much I try. I guess it is time to cut some ties completely, but it's so hard to let go. At least this trip will do it for me... no one unwilling to put some effort into talking with me is going to with me thousands of miles away. *sighs and shrugs*

And another...

Ha! I'm just using Ryan for his quizzes! :P

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Yet another silly quiz!

Snatched from Ryan ;)

You scored as Romanticist. Romanticism encourages society to look backwards to find our solutions. ur rationale is that things were much better a few hundred years ago so we should thus look back to those times and replace them in our modern socieYoty. You believe in a simple life and that the complexities of the modern world have turned it upside down. Romanticist 94% Cultural Creative 69% Fundamentalist 56% Postmodernist 56% Idealist 56% Modernist 50% Existentialist 38% Materialist 25% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Friends

Well, I know I have whined about this periodically for the past two years, but looking online today at all the people I never talk to anymore stirred the issue up even more. Ever since high school graduation, I have lost contact with every single one of my friends, one way or another. Right now, the only constant friend I have in my life is James (K., not B.), and that's sort a given considering we've been going out for nearly 9 months now.

I really miss friendship. I miss having someone I can rant at about anything. I miss having someone other than a boyfriend whom I can feel close to. None of my family fits the bill, and though I do consider some of James' housemates (former, *sniff*) to be friends, not even Preston was/is someone I feel close enough to call up at random to see if we could hang out or for me to rant at about life, or James (well, not about him specifically, no problems there... but with connected issues), or whatnot.
Basically, now that I'm facing having to say goodbye to everything I've known (which includes breaking things off with James which I am not dealing with well), I'm feeling the absence of friends ever more acutely. Everyone whom I might have once felt close to is seperated from me now. Differing schedules, growing apart, disillusionment, or lack of enough interest to put the effort into keeping in touch has gotten in the way. I haven't made any friends at American River, and even the friends I've met online have drifted away.

I feel stranded, and I don't even miss the social aspect of it so much as the support, the connection. I mean, in Ireland I'm hoping to pull out of my shell somewhat, so socializing hopefully will no longer be an issue. But I still have two months to survive here.
I'm so lost right now reguarding James. I know it worries him that I'm struggling so hard with myself, and that just makes me feel all the worse. A part of me wishes it were all over... then I wouldn't have to worry about leaving him behind... wouldn't have to worry about our future. Another part of me clings desperately to him. I've never had such a steady relationship before (not that I've had much experience in the first place). It might seem crazy or naive, but there's times where he and I feel so natural together, I could picture us living together, stretching on into the future years. And again, other times I realize I'm not even 20 yet and I have not had so many experiences, and that by clinging to something that might not be there when I get back cuts those chances away from me. And of course, there's still that stupid/silly/impossible fantasy of having some Irish lad sweep me off my feet into the perfect relationship.

See what happens when I don't have anyone to talk to? Anyone to steady me when I'm not around my James? I talk myself into circles. And I've seen James so little lately that even his presence doesn't always center me all the way. He's my steadfast knight on the white horse, but there's a ravine coming up, and I'm not sure whether I should cling tighter to him and hope that I stay seated, or jump off before the danger comes. I know I've already started distancing myself from him emotionally at times, and I feel so hollow when that happens that I rush back, upset, and cling all the more.

Yeah... hollow is a good way to describe me right now.

The Most Pathetic Thing in the World

So yeah, driving home from ARC today, I stopped by Quizno's to redeem my free sandwich card. I also bought some chips, so with tax, my total came to 96cents. So, I started digging through my wallet for change, and I suddenly realized that I had spent my last dollar bill and last quarter for a water bottle while at school. I was frantically trying to count my dimes and pennies, realizing that I didn't have enough. Then the guy in line behind me oppened up his change purse and dropped it on the counter, telling me to "take whatever, however much I need." By this time, I was completely red from hairline to chest, and I quickly grabbed three dimes, paid the cashier, and got the hell out of dodge with a squeak of a "thank you very much!"
Pathetic, no? Had he not come to my rescue, I would have had to pay the 96cents with my credit card. How sad.

First post...

So yeah... Welcome, everyone, to me humble blog. I shall soon post all the poems I wrote this semester during poetry class. Hopefully people will actually read this and I'll try my best to update it regularly.

Man, finals are starting next week, and I have so much to catch up on, so much studying to do. Unfortunately, the hotel is sold out this weekend, so I won't be able to study there. It's so distracting here at home. At least in a few months time, I'll be out on my own. I think I really, really need this fresh start.

I wish my fingers would stop peeling. They've been like this for a few months now, and they're sore; especially my index fingers... they keep peeling down to the point where even just sunlight on them burns. Bleh.

Anywho, I have several performances coming up shortly:
-- This Sunday, at the Whole Earth Festival on the UCD campus. roughly around 3pm, bohemain bellies will be dancing for a bit.
-- A noon concert coming up for Baroque Ensemble. Will update date, etc., as soon as possible
-- bohemian bellies (well, as part of Dynamic Dancing) will be performing June 10th and 11th. We're still debating about which day is going to be the actual performance, as we're only going to have one show. I'll be doing both tap and bellydancing. I'll update this as I find out, but you can also check it out at http://bohemianbellies.com.

Well, oreos are tempting me, and I only have a short bit until tap class, then some time with James, then bellydancing. Please do leave me comments!

~Anja