Loneliness

Isn't it odd how you can be lonely even when you're very rarely alone? I think it takes a particular mindset to keep yourself from loneliness, and most of the time, I do not have it. I'm perfectly find spending hours on my own, doing my own things, but the moment I feel the lack of supportive friendships, of having someone to rant to daily, to listen to and connect to, I lose all independence whatsoever. When this occurs, as it often does, I tend to 1) the internet and its many escapes, 2) random friendly people who are too nice to turn me away or care enough to actually listen. I can easily rant for extended periods of time without even realizing quite what I am saying 'til later, which tends to lead to me divulging too much information upon the hapless person. Right now, between stress from family issues, health issues, and having my one major support being thousands of miles away, I'm floundering. I feel as if I've been set adrift and everything that I want is too far out of reach for me to attain.
The two perks of such loneliness, however, help light up my gloom and doom: namely, finding friends where previously there were none and/or strengthening previous friendships, and giving myself pretty much a steady stream of inspiration, both for dance and writing. It's as if my creativity tries to distract my brain from other, less happy, thoughts with new ideas. However, this can often cause me to turn to not-so-sustainable outlets, such as my usual online games and chatting with random strangers who in the long run will most likely forget about me in a week or two.
Having this much time in my own head also leads to other bad habits: namely that endless cycle of self doubt and guilt that I am oh so good at. Since I've already ranted about this to two understanding people, I will refrain from any more of it, but let's just say that I am fantastic at guilting myself and then second guessing every little thing, which causes me to feel guilty, which causes me to doubt because I feel guilty, which causes me to feel guilty for doubting because I feel guilty....